Confidence vs Faith

Layfetta: Having spent 17 years in education, I believed that my confidence came from being prepared and well organised. I set out to implement these tried and tested skills in my new journey as an ordinand, but why were they not working?

The answer was not immediate. It started with my supervisor insisting I commit to a Sabbath rest. OK, I’ll take an hour here and there. Well, God would not let go and neither would his assistant – in the form of my supervisor. Never before have I had to juggle so many situations (I have 4 children and am doing a full time academic course) and still put an entire day aside, in my opinion at the time, to do absolutely nothing.

The lesson has been never to compromise my time alone with God. My early morning daily devotion takes about 40 minutes. I have been tempted a few times to use that time for essay writing instead, but by midday I have found myself on my knees instead, being reminded that time with God is important if I want things to go well.

I am called not to strive for confidence in being the best Layfetta I can be, but rather to have faith and trust Him to mould me into what He would have me be.

Surrender. Living one day at a time, the children of Israel had manna for each day. The results of taking life one day at a time and trusting God may not sound radical but, although not easy, are very rewarding.

Last week in my alone time, I felt compelled to write a completely different sermon, for our 9am congregation of a few lovely elderly ladies. In the stillness of my prayer time the entire sermon came to me. It was wonderful! God spoke to each person powerfully that morning.

Obedience is indeed sweet. I have found that doing His will is always worth it, and that faith is confidence in God not in my own abilities.

Jeremiah 17 v 7-8 says “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Amen.


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